I have taken offense to some (ok, rather a lot, actually) of the emails I have been getting lately.

For example:

“Hi Vicki, Are you sick of being laughed at because of your penis size? Let us help you.”

They even call me by name.

What I want to know is — who was it (c’mon, own up!) that told these people I have a small or floppy penis? *sniff*